A couple weeks back I posted a poll to my VIP ladies only Facebook group asking what is the biggest thing holding women back from doing a boudoir session. Not surprisingly most women felt that their bodies were not where they wanted it to be yet for a photoshoot. Let’s face it, unless you’re the type that’s super physically fit and/or someone who’s blessed with amazing self confidence, I pretty sure we would be hard pressed to meet any woman on the street that didn’t have some sort of criticism about themselves. I’m just as guilty of it too. As a busy mom with 2 kids running a full-time photo biz, I usually eat like crap, barely bother to brush my hair when I’m working from home and running errands during the week, I definitely have my days where I feel ugly and fat but then there are other days (though rare) when I feel i’m closer to my best. The fact of the matter is, for most of us, we’re likely never going to be 100% happy about where we are and at all times. Perhaps it’s female nature I suppose? Our perception of ourselves is completely skewed and what we don’t realize is that the constant self deprecation is toxic and impacts every aspect of our life. This makes me think of that old Dove commercial where the forensic’s artists draws a woman based on her own description of her self vs. a strangers to prove that the woman are all more beautiful than they think. View it here: Dove Real Beauty. The image that strangers described of each of the woman was more accurate than the photos drawn based of the women’s own descriptions. As what one of the participants said, the way we perceive ourselves is critical to our happiness and it couldn’t be more true. Sometimes it takes seeing yourself through another person’s eyes to realize that you are beautiful the way that you are.
Think of boudoir as a tool to help you get closer to accomplishing that kind of realization. It’s a confidence building exercise, a self esteem boost. Yes we’ll also make beautiful, sensual, artful portraits that you and especially your partners will enjoy but the bigger benefit of the experience comes after the session when you can hold your head up high and know that you’re just as gorgeous and worthy as any of those unrealistic women we see in magazines and TV that we constantly compare ourselves too. If you’re lucky enough to already know you’re a hottie, then kudos to you – let’s go ahead and document your hot self… but if you’re like the rest of us that are still thinking the day will come that we’ll actually be “{insert adjective}” enough and remotely happy enough about ourselves to do a boudoir session, there will never be a better time than now because if we keep on waiting, we’ll never do it, and before we know it – we’ll be older and looking back at photos of us at this very time in our lives admiring how young and beautiful we were.
And for those of you that are curious, yes, I do walk the walk and have had my own boudoir session done. I too at first felt unsure and nervous going into it. I’m far better behind the camera than in front of it I always say, but I took the plunge and did it because I knew I had to experience it for myself and make sure everything that I preach is not a sham (ha!). It was truly everything and more and exactly the confidence boost that I needed in my life. The experience in itself made me appreciate this form of photography even more. I’d be happy to share the photos with you should have a opportunity to shoot together 🙂
Here’s a session I loved from last year when I had the opportunity to photograph the beautiful Ms. V.
Hair & Makeup by the wonderfully talented: Monica Duerte
